


The Lies we tell Ourselves

by hawkeyescoffee



Series: Oikageweek 2020 by Aleks [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Flirting, Drinking, Everyone Is Gay, Idiots in Love, Kageyama Tobio is a Mess, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei, Mutual Pining, Oikage Week, Oikawa Tooru is a Little Shit, Oikawa Tooru is a Tease, One Night Stands, Oral Sex, Partying, Power Play, Self-Indulgent, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26231605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawkeyescoffee/pseuds/hawkeyescoffee
Summary: “Oikawa-san.” Shit. It was too late. Toru tried to breathe, to collect what little sense he had left. When he turned around, a wide grin was surely placed on his face. “Yoohoo, Tobio-chan! What a surprise to meet you so close to my bedroom.”[Oikage Week Day 1: KageOi Day-Anything goes!]
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Oikageweek 2020 by Aleks [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905220
Comments: 14
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! Welcome to this mess. I'm very excited for the whole week since I haven't written anything for Haikyuu yet and returned to the fandom for season 4! (Been here on and off again since 2014)  
> I hope you enjoy the story-

Kageyama Tobio was eighteen now and even though his goal was still the Japan National Volleyball Team, his parents pushed him to take his education more seriously too.

So, he applied and as things were working out, he went to Tokyo to study at the same institution Hinata, Yachi and to his dismay, Tsuki ended up. A fact Hinata did not let them forget, at least Kei. Yachi came to a public University in hopes to step out of her mother’s shadow and make her own name with her photography. She just had been glad to know people on campus, even when all four of them studied entirely different subjects.

It also worked out that it was the same Institution Bokuto, Kuroo and Akashi had ended up in. So, when Tsukishima, Kageyama, and Hinata had applied to the Volleyball team, they were greeted with familiar faces. (Tsuki almost walked out again. Maybe Hinata had grabbed him before he made it back to the entrance.) As it stood now Bokuto-san, Kuroo-san, Hinata, Tsuki, and him were all team regulars.

It was almost perfect.

Yamaguchi on the other hand was direly missed. For the three years of high school, it had been the four of them. The former first-years of the Volleyball Club. Without Tadashi, who studied abroad something very vital was missing and it had been hard for Kageyama specifically to adjust to such a drastic change. But over time they all learned to live with the video chats, voicemails, and texting.

He did not understand why he would need a degree if he would play sports for the rest of his life, but this turn of events led to him being right here right now on that evening, in that dorm building. It was one of the many private universities in Tokyo.

It had been Kuroo’s idea to come to this particular party. Because of course, it was. It later turned out they were not the only people from their Uni to be there anyway. Tsuki had bitched and moaned about how he didn’t want to come, but between Bokuto, Kuroo, and Shoyo they didn’t really take no for an answer.

They had met up at the place Kuroo and Bokuto shared and made their way to the party in question. Now they were sitting by a makeshift bar in one of the rooms, drinking and ‘assessing the situation’. Bokuto was moping in the corner of the table, nursing a beer. The reason was apparent when you saw that Akashi had been intercepted on the way to the bar by a few boys from his classes, who now chatted and laughed with him.

Tsuki watched the former owl with a sour expression. The tall blonde was sitting next to Kageyama, supposedly to get away from an excited Shoyo. But if they were both honest with themselves, they had grown to be good friends over the years. “I am going to tell him. I swear I do it.” Tsuki was still watching Bokuto as he took a swig of beer too.

Kageyama’s head snapped away from the small selection of drinks to glare at his friend. “Don’t you dare!” he hissed.

To make it short: Everyone in their group knew that Bokuto was in love with Akaashi, except Keji who doubted his friend’s assessment, and Bokuto himself, who just didn’t seem to _get it_. Kageyama didn’t even understand what the problem was. But then again, he had never been very good with that kind of emotional stuff.

Still, Akaashi was into boys. Bokuto was into boys. Why was it so hard to get the notion that they might be into each other? Especially considering the way Bokuto was sitting there obviously jealous. Why couldn’t he admit to his own feelings?

Tsuki still starred. “Kageyama.”, he grumbled. “That stupid dumbass is in love with his best friend and if it continues like this, he will be the last to know.” Tobio shook his head. “I can’t with any of you.”, Tsuki put his bottle down and stood. “Poor Akaashi-senpai.”

Kageyama finally decided for something and took a bottle of cheap beer, as he caught Shoyo starring after Tsuki. Speaking of _unnecessarily complicated_. He also didn’t understand why his best friend didn’t confess either.

Wordless he pushed another bottle into Hinata’s hand as he sat on the chair Tsuki had vacant. “You want to talk about it?”, Tobio asked more out of duty than interest. Nothing Shoyo would say now, would be new to him. They had talked about it a hundred and one times.

It had started in their second year of high school when Hinata had confessed to Kageyama one night. “I think I am gay.” He had said back then and Tobio had just blinked at him for a moment, very unsure what to do with that information. “Are you telling me, so I know or because you like me?”, he had asked innocently. Something very stressful and frightening for Shoyo, as he had learned later.

“Why would I like you? Bakayama, you are my best friend.”

Tobio had just shrugged: “Well, then nothing has to change between us. We will play and win together and make it to nationals again.” And for a while that had been it.

Until Shoyo’s confession wouldn’t let him alone at all. Not because it made him uncomfortable, but because he himself had never spent a thought on relationships, or his sexuality or his type. It had been all volleyball in his head as long as he could remember.

Back then he had to think about it for the first time. Kyoko-senpai was beautiful, objectively so and Yachi- san was cute and pretty, but when he looked at them he only saw his teammates and friends. And similar things applied to the girls in his class.

When he thought of attractiveness, he thought of Suga-senpai, who was radiantly pretty, when he smiled or Mya Atsumu’s cocky grin, when he tricked the opponent, biceps straining in tight volleyball uniforms, and most of all: _Oikawa Toru_. An admission that he was able to make to himself after a few days, if only for the safe distance between him and his former Senpai.

So, maybe he had a crush on Oikawa Toru in middle school. It was fine and irrelevant. If he was lucky he would never see him again.

Soon it turned out that Hinata and he weren’t the only members of their friend group that were gay. Yachi came out to them a while later as a lesbian as did Yamaguchi, who was bi and Tsuki was gay too.

The tiny wing-spiker shook his head.

Hinata’s crush on Tsukishima had grown and formed gradually, sneaking on him until it was too late. From ‘hey, the tall blonde asshole isn’t that bad’ to we are all friends here to Shoyo constantly talking about him. Tsuki did this and Tsuki did that. It was tiring sometimes.

Now that he was nicely buzzed Kageyama pulled Hinata up. He had always been a lightweight. The bass was trilling thru Tobio’s entire body and he had a mind to dance. They were here to get drunk and have fun after a series of exams after all.

Yachi grabbed his hand maybe more to get away from a group of boys staring at her than to dance with him, but he didn’t mind that much. He twirled her around himself flawlessly.

Another thing they had learned since starting college was that when Kageyama was drinking and not being able to think about his actions too hard, he wasn’t actually a bad dancer. Shoyo had just sniggered and told him that it made sense since he played volleyball gracefully. Tobio didn’t comment on the compliment.

Yachi broke free from him after a while. Before she vanished back to the bar, she blew him an extravagated kiss. Kageyama grinned at her. As he swayed a bit by himself strong arms grabbed his waist and pulled him flush to a firm chest and long fingers played with the hem of his tight black T-shirt. “Hey, stranger, what are you doing all alone here?” The question was overly dramatically hushed into his ear.

Tobio rolled his eyes when he turned to a smirking Kuroo. At that angle, their lips almost touched. “Didn’t you plan to play beer pong with Bokuto?”, he asked easily. Kuroo was known to be flirty with his friends. It didn’t mean much and Tobio had never had a problem with a drunk Kuroo getting a bit handsy, the contrary it made him feel wanted without pressure.

__

Toru was leaning against the wall between two dorm rooms. His own roommate was somewhere, he was not sure where exactly. The other man was probably somewhere in the heart of the crowd with his girlfriend, who he would also stay with tonight and Toru? He wasn’t really in the mood for a party but his entire building had other plans.

And since Iwa-chan had stood him up this weekend he had nothing much better to do. So, he had thrown on a tight pair of jeans and a nice button-up, ready to get shitfaced. Maybe he would find a nice girl or boy to distract himself from his disappointment.

He knew that his best friend could not come to visit him whenever they wanted with him living in Osaka and all that, but throwing away a planned visit for his new girlfriend felt like a stab of betrayal of the highest order.

He let his gaze wander over the people in the room in front of him and his heart spluttered to a sudden stop. Closing his eyes, he tried to calm his treacherous heart because surely he was drunker than he thought he was, surely he imagined things.

Because he imagined he would know if Kageyama Tobio had suddenly changed schools and was staying here now.

(Of course, the possibility that his former kohai was just here for the party, was still given.)

He opened his eyes to find Tobio-chan in the arms of another young man, grinding against him shamelessly. God. His mouth went dry. Toru downed his plastic cup of cheap whatever. He was a bad and selfish person. He knew that. He had always known that.

Oikawa Toru had always found Tobio cute and pretty. A notion he had shelved fast in middle and high school. Back then, a two-year age gap had felt like a difference irreconcilable. Now he would be hit on by people Tobio’s age and younger all the time and all he could think about was an intense set of blue eyes. He would try to suppress those thoughts too.

Now it came all back to him with a vengeance.

Tobio looked good. To be fair he had always been adorable, now three years later he was beautiful. Tall, slim muscles clinging to a tight T-shirt, his soft-looking mouth, his long dark lashes, trousers clinging to _other things_.

He needed to stop-

He needed to stop right now!

He shouldn’t stand here and lust over Tobio, after being so awful to him all of their shared school days. Sure, he had been a dumb teenager trying to cover up his insecurities but that didn’t excuse everything that happened.

He needed to leave before something bad would happen-

At that moment Tobio caught his eye and Toru stood there frozen, unable to break eye contact as piercing blue eyes were mustering him. First Kageyama looked shocked to see him, then his expression changed and he quickly talked to the other guy and came over in only somewhat wobbly strides.

Oikawa had a mind to run, but that would be cowardly even for his standards. Usually, he was no one to avoid confrontation, but here drunk and lonely he felt too vulnerable like he would do something he would regret when he was left alone with this older and more confident Tobio.

“Oikawa-san.” Shit. It was too late. Toru tried to breathe, to collect what little sense he had left. When he turned around, a wide grin was surely placed on his face. “ _Yoohoo, Tobio-chan!_ What a surprise to meet you so close to my bedroom.”

First Kageyama didn’t say anything. He just starred. Blue eyes following the curve of his body from head to toe. The older boy’s smirk grew. Teasing Tobio-chan was familiar and most importantly _safe_ and he made it so goddamn easy for him too. It was still adorable.

“Like what you see?” he asked a note deeper and more seductive than he had intended. But the effect was almost addictive. Tobio looked like a child caught with the hand in the cookie jar. Eyes wide and cheeks dusted with a beautiful pink flush.

Toru kicked off the wall and stepped close, tilting his head up to Tobio and glancing up to him thru his own eyelashes. He could play a little bit before he got burned, right? The way Tobio was still looking at him and _oh_. Did his gaze flicker down to his lips? Naughty, Tobio-chan. Toru raised an eyebrow, to let the younger man know that he had seen.

Tobio bit his lip in response. A gesture that short-circuited Toru’s alcohol slowed brain. He was going to die today. Why was this annoying boy like this? Even now even after all that had happened between them.

“And what if I do?”

He had been so in his head he almost didn’t process the reply. He looked up at Tobio again and his cute Kohai was even redder than he had been a minute before. Was he flirting with him? How adorable.

He shouldn’t.

He really shouldn’t.

He _wanted to_.

Toru put a hand on Tobio’s chest and relished a bit of the warmth and firmness. God, he will regret this. Why wasn’t Iwa-chan here to punch sense into him? He was selfish and he wanted whatever Tobio was willing to give him.

His hand traveled up to Tobio’s neck, brushing his thumb along alluring soft skin. “If I didn’t know better, I would say you tried to flirt with me?”

“I feel like I am not trying.”

Tobio used those extra centimeters he had over Toru to bend over him and sure- fine- that was hot.

Oikawa’s hand dropped back to the firm chest, digging his fingers into a soft fabric with it his gaze dropped too. Now long fingers wrapped around his jaw and pulled his head up to stare into his eyes again.

There was a part of him that wanted to attribute his dizziness to the alcohol but he knew it was Tobio and the way he both had grown bold and was still the awkward boy he knew. Just because Tobio had grown up didn’t mean Toru would make this easy for him. “Will you kiss me any time soon, Tobio-chan?”

Toru caught Tobio’s Adam’s apple bob from the corner of his eye as the younger boy swallowed with insecurity. For some reason, his throat went very dry, _very, very_ fast, for. He tried to stay focused but the closeness, the smell of beer, and _Tobio_ , the promise of something _more_ , was too much.

Minimizing the space between them, by moving so close that he almost touched Tobio’s beautiful mouth. “Is that a no?” His voice was quiet almost inaudible in the hard bass of the music around them, but he could see the way Tobio shivered. Maybe that was why he felt stupid enough to dart his tongue out and lick those rosy lips. Light and fast enough to be teasing and take in the taste of the beer he drunk before.

The reaction was delicious.

A low and stimulating gasp. A noise he could get used to hearing. A noise that made him wonder what else that mouth could do…

One answer that came after a short heartbeat. Tobio moved his hand into his hair, grabbing a fistful of soft strands and smashing their lips together. Toru was so focused on the feverish way he kissed back that he only noticed the arm wrapping around his waist a moment later.

He tugged on the damned T-shirt to make Tobio come closer, as close as it was possible. When they had to separate for air, he swallowed a needy whine. The other man didn’t need to know how long it had been since someone had kissed him like that.

Toru moved on to kiss Tobio’s neck, sucking the sensitive skin, to be rewarded with a muffled groan thru gritted teeth. He realized that he still wanted more. And, well, he didn’t seem to be the only one.

It was a rush. His headlight and _god_. As he looked up to Tobio and was greeted with dark, _dark_ blue eyes, swollen lips, and a beautiful flush on those pretty cheekbones.

It was like a drug.

He would take as much as he was allowed too.

Their lips met again. Tobio darted his tongue into his mouth like a man dying. Groaning into the kiss, Toru grabbed onto him again, as his motion grew less defined and needier. The clever way his lips had moved against Tobio’s a minute or so ago was gone, now he was all heat and tongue and teeth.

As they separated a second time, Tobio leaned into him, breathing hard and…

“Do you want to; well- Do you want to see my dorm room?”

The younger men swallowed again, for a second time dark blue eyes mustered him, from head to toe. God, if anyone had told Toru like three years ago that Kageyama Tobio would undress him with his eyes at a party, he would have called them crazy.

“Do you-?“, his voice was hoarse and Toru hated how the sound slithered down his spine. “Are you sure?”

He dragged a hand down Tobio’s neck, fluttering and painfully slow as he watched the reaction again. He did like a bit too much, didn’t he? “I did offer, didn’t I?”

Toru clasped his hand around Tobio’s wrist. He had hesitated a second or two complicating if he should take his hand, but he had looked down to those long fingers and it had felt more intimate he was comfortable with.

Sure, he had fantasized about that a few more times than it would have been strictly healthy or normal, non-obsessive but the reality scared him on another level. Just because he wanted Tobio, didn’t mean he could handle it now.

The younger man didn’t seem to complain so, he just pulled him in the right direction. Once they were in the right room, Toru turned to lock the door.

__

Tobio was more than nervous.

But he could not help to observe the room curiously. This was Oikawa’s dorm room. Oikawa-san he had just kissed and made out with. Oikawa-san who had asked him to come in here.

Yes, Tobio was nervous but there was also excitement rushing thru him.

And need.

Fuck, he was already half-hard but there was no way he would actually put attention on that. He had sex before. Tobio was not a virgin anymore, but with Oikawa it was different. Kissing him had felt more impactful than any other kiss before. Maybe it was their longstanding- he didn’t want to call it a relationship but- Oikawa had always been an important part of his life. If he liked to admit it or not.

Nothing his head had provided during lonely nights, could compare to the real thing. Oikawa’s lips on his skin.

The room looked standard he supposed. There were two sets of beds, desks, and chairs, as well as a shelf and closet. The side with the volleyball was obviously-. He could not take a closer look, as Oikawa walked him to one of the beds, his warm hand back on his sternum. When his knees hit the bed frame, he was pushed down.

Oikawa didn’t give him a chance to recover as he seated himself onto his lap, straddling his legs. Kageyama had never been more frustrated over the fact that he was wearing pants.

Kageyama reached up to connect them again, just for Oikawa to grind down on him, slow and deliberately. Fuck. Tobio moaned louder and more scandalous than he ever wanted it to be, as desire flooded his system.

“Hmm~, Tobio-chan.” Oikawa’s hand twisted into his hair, pulling, to both torture Kageyama apparently and to bite down on his neck. Pain mixing with pleasure in the best way possible. A wet tongue traced the outline of his throat just to stop at his ear. “Aren’t you delicious?”

“Oikawa-“ A nibble to his ear. “But you are wearing way too much for my liking…” Before Tobio could react and comply, greedy hands were already tearing at his shirt. And a warm mouth on his now bare chest. A hand on his back another in his hair and more friction to his cock. “ _Fuck-_ “

Oikawa, being the bastard, he always had been, didn’t seem to have any intention to give Kageyama any kind of break. It was good. But that didn’t make him less annoying. A featherlike touch to the skin beneath his waistband stuttered his thoughts to an abrupt end. All that he felt was hot desire curling in his belly.

Whimpering about the loss of pressure when Oikawa stood up and discarded of Kageyama’s pants, leaving the younger man laying on the clear bedding, only his boxers between Oikawa Toru and his erection.

And he was so intensely turned on by that fact. Kageyama didn’t have time to process the small drop of embarrassment as need and anticipation were crawling under his skin. Oikawa moved back onto him, kissing and groping at every strip of skin he could get to on his way. Tobio was greeted by intense brown eyes gazing down on him almost predatory. He felt his skin heat again in a blush as he covered his pink face with his hands.

“Tobio.”, the tone of voice was gentle now. Soft fingers moved his cover from his face to be met with an even softer expression on Oikawa’s face. There was still desire in his gaze, but it was not the most prominent feature. “Tell me what you want.”, he carried on. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, but I need you to tell me to know…”

Kageyama reached out for Oikawa again and nuzzled his nose against his neck, breathing in the delicious scent that was Oikawa Toru. “I, for one, don’t appreciate how much you still wear.” Tobio did not feel the confidence he tried to feign as his fingers moved to unbutton Oikawa’s shirt. Opening up to show flawless soft skin.

“Fair.”, The clothes went. Now the boys were equally naked. “Well, I still don’t know what you want me to do about that…”

With the sentence, Oikawa grabbed Tobio’s dick thru his underpants. Clenching his mouth shut Tobio swallowed the groan that would have gone with it. “I-“, but he was not even sure what he wanted. He yearned for release, for Oikawa’s lean hands on his body, pink lips on his skin, and the weight of firm muscles pressing him into the mattress.

But Kageyama never really had casual sex. He had a somewhat serious boyfriend in the time between school and university. That has been how he had lost his virginity and since then he didn’t really see anyone. That was probably one of the reasons why he had just dived into this without thinking much about it. (Not that he thought much thru anyway.)

Oikawa licked his lips and Tobio was momentarily distracted again. “Can we- Can we take it slow?” Hating how thin his voice was Kageyama cringed. “Hmm~” Oikawa didn’t seem discouraged the slightest. There was the annoying singsong in his tone again and clever fingers roaming his torso.

“How about I just suck your dick and we’ll see how that goes for you…”

He could just nod before the other man pulled down his boxers, brown eyes fixed on Tobio’s face, a dangerous glint to them. The kind of expression that he would wear on the court when he was about to outsmart enemy blockers.

It was hypnotic.

It has always been.

And this would kill him if he was not careful.

But Tobio also never really been careful.

__

Toru kept his gaze on Tobio-chan as long as he could stand. (Not that the view was lacking. On the contrary, hooded eyes, glossy lips-)

Tobio’s cock was longer than Toru had expected, pink and plush. He put a hand to it, pulling back the foreskin and looking up to Tobio again. His own dick strained against the cotton of his own boxers, seeking friction.

But he was willing to neglect that for the squirming body underneath him. He retracted and knelt on the floor of his shitty dorm, making Tobio sit up in the process. After making sure that he had indeed the other’s full attention, he proceeded.

He might not know everything, but Oikawa Toru knew how to put on a show.

Instead of attending Tobio’s cock, he slowly spread those pale long legs, sucking on the sensitive spot on the inner thigh, just close enough to the groin, to make it impossible stimulating, just enough to hear one of Tobio’s sweet moans.

He put his hands on thin hips and made sure the other boy was staying where he was even though, there was another groan accompanied with a desperate buckle, as he sought… friction. Anything. Toru smiled at the beautiful picture before him. Tobio was beautiful, perfect, delicious, and he would drive him insane. Gods, he would make him beg for release.

The mental image alone made his own cock twitch excited.

“Not so fast.“, he whispered against soft flesh. “I want to enjoy this too.”

“God, why are you like this?”, the question left Tobio’s luscious mouth in an annoyed grunt. Toru snickered against the other leg and ran a wet tongue along the inside slow and deliberate just to scrape his teeth along too.

“Don’t act like you did not know what you got yourself into.”

After that, he bit into the spot underneath the knee.

“But maybe if you ask nicely~”

“ _Fuck_ you!”

This was fun. He could indulge him a bit then though. His fingers wrapped around the cock, pumping fast and pressureless. When he stopped, Tobio glared, but it didn’t have the desired effect since he was also flushed and wanting. Toru held the eye contact swiping his thumb over the sensitive head

Another sigh, another tremble, another dark look.

“Fine, fine…”

Toru wetted his lips. He knew why he was so turned on by being in control. God, especially since it was Tobio and especially since he was responding so eagerly to the snippets of attention and teasing he gave him. The prospect of making Tobio come undone with a blowjob alone, made him come to close to his own release for comfort. It was like a drug, a high he would probably get addicted to.

But for now, he was content with putting the dick in his mouth, finally, just to watch Tobio hiss and clench his eyes shut. Bobbing his head slowly, Toru still held onto those hips, making sure Tobio could only wait for him to give him more.

“Oikawa…” he sighed his name fragged out. “Oikawa please…”

A flicker of his tongue and Toru let go again, caressing the shaft with one hand in compensation. “Oh, for the love of-“

“Please, _what_? Tobio-chan?”

To speak he had moved a distance away from Tonio’s dick.

Tobio’s fingers twisted into his bedsheet. He shivered and gasped, whining: “Please just. I can’t take it any longer… I want you-!”

_I want you._

His teeth met his bottom lip painfully as he swallowed his own moan. As his dick rubbed pathetically against the bedframe. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck_.

Toru pulled Tobio’s head down to kiss him as a man possessed. Just to have it reciprocated just as hungry and needy. The taste of this hot and perfect mouth making him dizzy again.

“Yes, you were such a good boy.”

That made Tobio moan into the kiss, loud, hot, perfect. Oh. _Ohhhhh_.

“You like that? Do you want to hear how pretty you are? How good you taste? How much I _want_ you?”

Whatever Tobio wanted to reply ended up in needy gibberish. As he humped against Toru’s leg. Tsking the older boy grabbed a sharp hipbone again and traveled back downwards.

This time he swallowed Tobio’s whole length and hollowed his cheeks mercilessly. His tongue twirled and twisted, while Tobio just couldn’t shut up anymore. He cried out for the whole building to hear, To hear that he was Toru’s… at least for tonight.

“ _Toru-!_ ”

Tobio came and the fact that he had used his first name, rolling off his tongue in a scandalous moan, tipped him over the edge right after. He was just coherent enough not to fucking choke on the cum shooting into his mouth.

When he had somewhat recovered Toru stood, determined to commit the magnificent sight before him to memory. Tobio had fallen back onto his bed in all his naked glory, sweat glittering on tight muscles and rosy flush skin, as his chest hived with heavy breathing. If Toru was honest with himself, and he rarely was when it came to Tobio, he could have gotten used to it, but he was a good lier after all.

He than sat next to him, now finally being fully aware of the mess in his pants, but the magic had evaporated. There was a physical distance between them now as they were not touching and slowly the reality that this had been a one night stand at best settled into Oikawa’s bones.

It didn’t stop his heart from aching as Tobio started to awkwardly collect his clothes and got dressed though. He had pointed out the late time and that his friends were waiting for him, probably. The hallway lay silent behind his door. The party obviously over.

He watched breathlessly as Tobio vanished thru his door without as much as looking back to him.

It shouldn’t hurt so much.

Toru had promised himself to only take what Tobio was willing to give and it had been more than he had been barging for.

So, why did he still feel so empty?

Longing for something he could not get…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama woke when a cushion hit him on the side of his face. A part of him acknowledged that Shoyo probably tried to aim at his face. “Bakayama!” How could he be so loud when he had been piss drunk too?
> 
> “Where have you been?“, he hopped off his own bed onto Tobio’s. “I was so worried about you!” As Kageyama still mumbled into his pillow. “Answer now!” Tobio looked at him. What was he supposed to say, that didn’t expose his embarrassingly needy crush on Oikawa.
> 
> A brilliant part of his brain made him speak before he could actually think about it. Well, Tsuki already knew so-
> 
> “I hooked up with someone-“
> 
> Hinata stared at him as if he was stupid.
> 
> “You hooked up with someone?”
> 
> “Yes?”
> 
> “You? Kageyama Tobio?”
> 
> “Why is this so hard to believe?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm back?  
> It was really fun to write on this project again and I hope you all enjoy it.  
> A lot of it is based on my uni expirance in europe idk what the culture is like in Japan lol  
> This chapter is mostly pining and friendship fluff but I plan to write more. :)  
> Also Tsuki is legally aloud to say fuck now

The cold night air hit him like the rest of reality just at the moment he left the now quiet dorm building. Kageyama shivered in his skimpy outfit. Now that the sun had set, it was way too thin. The cool wind blowing right thru the clothes, leaving him shivering. But his desire to flee from Oikawa and the consequences of the last few hours was stronger than his discomfort.

He didn’t linger even though his blue eyes were glued to the lit window that he thought was _his_.

Thoughts were swimming in his head, so he didn’t even notice that he had made it to the train station. It was embarrassing but the sensation of Oikawa’s hands on his skin would not leave his mind. The sweetness of his kisses, his warm body pressed against Tobio’s, those pretty lips around… _other things_ …

He blushed furiously in the deserted train cart. _Hell_. How could he ever show his face in his former senpai’s presence again? Especially when said man was responsible for Tobio’s most intense orgasm to date?

(Not that he had many references to compare it to.)

He was aware that his phone was buzzing in his pocket but there was so much to think about, so much to process he had no mind to dwell on the implication. What was he supposed to do anyway? When there was so much to be nervous about? He almost missed his stop while he was drowning in his own embarrassment-

**(4)** Missed calls from **your best friend in the whole world** **🍊**

 **(2)** Missed calls from **Tsukishima (Mean Lamppost)** **🧂**

 **(1)** Missed call from **Akashi** **✨**

 **(3)** Missed calls from **Bokuto !!!** **🦉**

 **(8)** Missed calls from **Yachi (best girl)** **📸**

He looked at all the emoji and shortly sidetracked to the question of how and _when_ Shoyo got ahold of his phone and what small deity he had to thank that he didn’t change the contacts _more_.

**(99+)** texts in **“Idiots in University** **🏐** **📚** **✍** **️** **“**

But when he stood before his own dorm room, more a flat really, that he shared with Tsuki and Shoyo, nervousness rose in his chest. What was he supposed to tell them when he had just disappeared and then ignored their texts and calls all night? Then again, he could not just stand here for the rest of the night, so he turned the key, stepped in and-

Was greeted by one of Kei’s dirtiest looks to date…

He sat at the foldable table that hung in front of their kitchenette and between Tsuki’s and the room Kageyama shared with Hinata. The low light painted strange patterns on the tall boy’s face.

“We were worried.”

“I know.”

The way he scoffed at that answer was a sure indicator that Tsuki didn’t appreciate that answer. Tobio could not fault him for that.

“Do you have any idea how long I had to argue with a drunk Shoyo to go home and to bed?”

“I can imagine…” And because that didn’t feel like enough, he added: “I am sorry to have worried you all…”

Kei didn’t seem convinced by that tough, he just rubbed his temples and sighed as his eyes squinted shut as if he was in pain. “Text the group that you are fine and see that you go to bed too…” With that, the conversation seemed to be over at least for Tsukishima. Standing he moved to turn, blinked at something on Kageyama, took a second take, finally frowned, and clicked his tongue way more agitated than before.

“I can’t believe I was so worried when you were just getting laid.”

Kageyama’s face burned up again. Tsuki shoved him in the direction of his bedroom door. “This conversation is not over, _King_.” And with that, he vanished behind his own door. Tobio groaned and let his forehead fall softly against the wood in front of him. How did-? He was too tired, too close to his own hangover to find out or to care how Kei knew.

He softly toed out of his shoes and lowered himself onto his bed, fishing for his phone again:

 **“Idiots in University** **🏐** **📚** **✍** **️”**

 **Yacchan:** Guys have you seen Kageyama? I can’t find him…

 **Yacchan:** @Blueberryboi where are you?

 **Catboyuwu:** Not since we danced a while ago. He suddenly ran of, told me he would be back tho.

 **SmollBoi:** Does he know someone here, we dont?

 **LoudOwl:** Idk

 **LoudOwl:** @Yacchan where r u?

…..

 **SmolBoi:** Guuuys I worr

 **SmolBoi:** Worry

 **PrettyOwl:** Should we go search?

 **Catboyuwu:** I can show you wJere he walked off to…

 **TallBlondSalty:** How annoying

 **LoudOwl:** @Blueberryboi

 **LoudOwl:** @Blueberryboi

 **LoudOwl:** @Blueberryboi

…

 **TallBlondSalty:** Come on @Blueberryboi we want to go home…

He skipped thru the massages with a growing feeling of dread and guilt, mixing with his semi-drunk-semi-hungover state. Hell. He was selfish. What? Oikawa just appeared before him, tall, handsome, and watching him and everything else didn’t matter anymore? Only the possibility to keep the other man’s attention. His palm dragged over his face in shame. He didn’t even think it would lead to anything, that Oikawa-san would brag with his University career, reminding Tobio how much he was still lacking and leaving him with a witty backhanded compliment.

Something Kageyama didn’t need to ruin his mood.

But Oikawa had looked at him with a spark in his brown eyes that had captivated him, that made him gravitate to the other setter like a stupid moth to an open flame. That was a good way to look at it, Tobio got more than he ever bargained for after all.

He was too tired to dwell on any of it, so he slid, very gracefully out of his pants, read he almost dropped to the floor like a wet sack of bullshit. Luckily he landed half on his desk, making minimal sound.

After a while he fell into bed and into a turbulent sleep of mixed emotions.

__

Toru woke in his disgusting underwear and felt lonely first and foremost. Which was pathetic for many reasons. He was mopping in bed long enough to actually miss Tobio now, which was an entirely different kind of ridiculous. (And troublesome)

Sure, fine, he had a crush on him a long time ago (a long-suffering one), but last night was the first time in years he had seen him. _in years_. And yes, they had made out as drunk as they were and yes Toru had sucked his dick and enjoyed it.

(The view of Tobio sprawled out in his sheets, butt naked, squirming, begging Toru to touch him, could be burned into his brain forever…)

 _But_ …

But what?

When he was honest with himself and he had no mind to do so after yesterday, but it was easier in the stillness of the early morning: He wanted to do it again… He wanted to undo Tobio in every way the younger one would permit him to. He loved being in control, a habit that was sweetened by Tobio’s verbal complaining.

When he arrived at the damn point where he wondered what it would feel like to wake up next to Tobio, he decided that he needed to do something _else_. He hopped out of bed, showered, and got rid of his dirty and sweety clothes of yesterday, just as his roommate walked in: Obviously tired but grinning like an idiot.

“You look hungover, Oikawa-san.”, he said easily. Toru rolled his eyes and contemplated throwing a pillow at him. “Well, I feel horrible.” The bed was too far away, sadly. “But how come you are here so early? Maki-chan let you go without a fight?”

Otake shrugged. “She kicked me out under the pretense that she could not study with me there. I apparently distract her? But enough about us. Were you very disappointed that your friend could not make it this week? Given your hangover, I am inclined to say yes.”

Toru spluttered. To his shame, he had forgotten about Iwa-chan. There had only been space for all things Tobio in his stupid head. (A part of him wanted to call Hajime and whine about his own gay weakness, but Iwa-chan would probably just yell at him.)  
(Deserved tough.)

To Ota-chan he shrugged non-committal, which he seemed to subscribe to his hungover state. “Do you want to get coffee together? I don’t think either of us had anything eatable in the room.”

Oikawa nodded. Maybe some caffeine would boost his sour mood.

The coffee shop near their campus was small and cozy with a good roast and just enough ambiguity to not make it swarmed with more college students.

He sat opposite Otake in a soft over-sized sweater holding his hot caramel latte and trying to decide between the pastries sitting on the table between them. The other boy was watching him with quiet amusement which was more annoying than him outright teasing him. He was a good guy for a nerdy E-con major tough.

“Did you enjoy the party room 28 and 29 orchestrated?”

“Honestly.”, he answered, snatching up a chocolate-filled doughnut and realizing that he would do more evening rep after this lazy and sugary morning. “It felt more like the whole corridor was parting…”

“I believe that right away! Those boys never know when to stop!”

Toru’s phone chirped in rapid succession and he swiped the notification open right away, just to frown at it:

**Iwaizumi2** **:** Hey shit-head I hope you didn’t get too drunk yesterday!

 **Iwaizumi2:** Seriously! I know how you drink and make stupid decisions when you are drunk.

 **Iwaizumi2:** Pls txt me when if you are up-

 **Iwaizumi2:** Cho says hi.

He frowned down on his phone. What did Hijame think he was doing? (Ignoring the fact that he did technically made a horrible mistake-) He was an adult and he could go party with his dorm-mates if he wanted.

And yes sure, he had been mad yesterday and because of that unfair to Cho-chan, who was probably the best girl Iwa-chan had ever dated. It wasn’t that long though.

**Milkbread** **👑** **:** I am fine and capable, Iwa-chan. Good morning to Cho-chan only

Putting his phone screen down next to his plate, he dedicated his attention back to his sweet coffee and his friend. He could multitask, even hungover. Otake was talking about his girlfriend. Maki-san, a pretty art history student with an amazing fashion sense. (He had no idea why she was dating Ota-chan who dressed like a middle-aged American dad.)

Toru liked her well enough as part of his social circle, but that didn’t mean he wanted to sit here and listen to her boyfriend swoon while he was painfully single (and newly pinning over a high school crush again.)

“How is her self-portrait assignment coming along?”, he engaged anyway, hoping the prompt about the woman’s work would put a less romantic spin on the conversation. (He didn’t have that much luck, but oh well.)

**Iwaizumi2:** Fuck you, Toru!

 **Iwaizumi2:** I was just worried.

 **Iwaizumi2:** which unlucky pair of pretty legs ended up in your bed yesterday

**Milkbread** **👑** **:** Fuck you 2!

 **Milkbread** **👑** **:** Also no comment…

Oikawa blinked at the last message. Momentarily distracted because Tobio had nice, long legs- Iwa-chan was really testing his patience this morning. Rude. He scrolled down on his lock screen and:

**C!** **🦋** **:** Good morning to you too 😉 Don’t let Hajime tease you too much!

He could not help the smile on his face.

**Milkbread** **👑** **:** thx love 💖

It might be an agreeable morning after all.

Or not…

He had just put his phone down again to make some agreeing noises for his roommate when his phone honest to god rang. Which in itself was weird. Who called without announcing it first these days. He shot an apologetic laugh to Ota-chan, who shrugged and ate another little cake. The song he had sat as his ring tone ages ago, still blurted. The screen read:

**Iwa** - **chan** **💖✨💕** **calling…**

“What do you want?”, he barked into the phone, more embarrassed at this point and having a bad feeling about the nature of this call. Was Hajime suspecting something? Could he? He couldn’t-  
“What a shitty way to answer your phone, Loserkawa! Good morning to you too! I-“ Iwaizumi hesitated which was not really characteristic either.

“I was making a joke about you having a one night stand yesterday- I- You haven’t done that so- carelessly since the Bio-Chem dude cheated on you-“ Oikawa huffed out a laugh, almost amused by his best friends fumbling. Iwa-chan was adorable when he was worried.

“Don’t laugh, Toru. I felt bad- about not coming over yesterday and then you-“, he stopped again. Oikawa could see him blushing and rubbing his neck. The rustling sound in the background was probably a got indicator that Cho-chan was still at his place.

“I was pissed yesterday.”, he admitted, because lying didn’t do anything here. “And I got drunk and you know- had a bit of fun- but Hell. Iwa-chan how could you remind me! Biologists aren’t even a real scientist-!

“I swear to god, Toru…”, there was the tone of voice that he had missed from the Spiker. “And the dude who you hooked-up with yesterday, will it-“ Oikawa interrupted him. “It was a first-year from another university. Definitely a one-time thing.”

And he firmly believed at this moment that it was just that. A drunk anomaly to his everyday life.

__

Kageyama woke when a cushion hit him on the side of his face. A part of him acknowledged that Shoyo probably tried to aim at his face. “Bakayama!” How could he be so loud when he had been piss drunk too?

“Where have you been?“, he hopped off his own bed onto Tobio’s. “I was so worried about you!” As Kageyama still mumbled into his pillow. “Answer now!” Tobio looked at him. What was he supposed to say, that didn’t expose his embarrassingly needy crush on Oikawa.

A brilliant part of his brain made him speak before he could actually think about it. Well, Tsuki already knew so-

“I hooked up with someone-“

Hinata stared at him as if he was stupid.

“You hooked up with someone?”

“Yes?”

“You? Kageyama Tobio?”

“Why is this so hard to believe?”

“Well, you never had casual hook-ups…”

Hinata scanned him with his alert brown eyes. And yes, Tobio was aware that he was harsh to his friend, but he was aching, annoyed, and confused. He wanted this conversation to end as soon as possible.

“ _Well_ , I was drunk. It was nice…”

Way nicer than he would ever admit out loud. Ever. _Yikes_. Hinata still watched him carefully.

“With whom?”

Tobio prayed he would not blush again.

“Why do you think I knew him?”

“Because you usually don’t do that? I- I mean we talked about it. And- I was worried, a bit, okay? You should have seen Bokuto-san! And even Tsuki was all pissed and-!”

“Can you _once in your life_ shut _the fuck_ up?”

Tsuki glared at them and complained thru a crack in the door he had shoved his messy hair thru. He also looked proper hangover.

“I’m not even that loud today!” the small Wing-spiker insisted and hurried to their other flat mate’s side. “Do you want coffee, Kags?” The question left no room for answers as Hinata already followed Kei into the Kitchen. Annoying him for a change.

Tobi sighed, pushed a hand thru his own messy hair, and picked up his stuff to shower. When he passed his friends, Tsuki murmured “Hurry!” and Tobio rolled his eyes. Only to die again the moment he saw himself in the mirror. There was a prominent mark where his neck connected with his shoulder. He remembered how Oikawa had bitten down there, licked the spot slow and deliberate, his soft lips-

_Good Boy_

Gods above, he was ready to die right here on this bathroom floor. Why wouldn’t a higher power put him out of his gay misery?

With what little dignity he had left he pushed the memory away and took a fast and cold shower. When he stepped back out, he felt almost human again. And when he was met with the scene of coffee and fried breakfast, it made him livelier. Shoyo ushered him to the table with its three mismatched chairs.

Kageyama watched them from his sitting position. Tsuki was handling the pan not trusting Shoyo with the hot food, because he and Tobio himself, were both actual disasters when it came to feeding themselves. Hinata was fidgeting with their old coffee machine, sliding a hot cup of black coffee in a blue Dino mug to the tall Middle blocker. Tsuki eyed the brown liquid for a moment before he inhaled the aroma and smiled softly at Shoyo, thanking him.

Being actually as obvious about his crush as if he would wear a billboard on his forehead, Shoyo beamed back, all white teeth and bright warm eyes and Kageyama could not see how people weren’t falling in love with him left and right. “I am glad you like it Tsukki! I did my best!”

Adorable little gremlin.

A bit awkwardly they both shuffled to meet Tobio at the table, Tsukishima served them food and Hinata set his own and Kageyama’s cup down. After a minute or two conversation was flowing as usual.

Tsuki complained about Kageyama’s coffee that was usually more milk than actual coffee. All in all, it was a normal morning in their dorm. Nothing had changed fundamentally, which was reassuring. Kageyama sat back and forced himself to forget all about Oikawa Toru.

__

A day later the three of them, really the six of them found themselves in the well-lit gym of their University’s volleyball team, pushing themselves with repetitions. Kageyama had violently tried to cover the fucking hickey to avoid further ridicule. Tsukishima did not as promised annoy him further about his _little adventure_.

He had almost asked Yacchan to help him with makeup because he was so desperate to not answer invading questions from his teammates. For now, he just wore a high collared T-shirt and hoped.

He loved the weight of the ball in his palm, being able to toss to Hinata (A very vocal part of his brain sighed in relive every time the Spiker hit one of their perfect attacks. He had no idea what he would do without his best friend there.) It was a bit frustrating to have to start at square one with the older players and knowing Kuro and Bokuto’s habits from the other side of the net and having to deal with them were two different things. Things he had to get accustomed to.

Their school had not the best reputation for Volleyball, the few senpai (that weren’t the other trio) they had spoken for it. So, their coach had been very excited to get so many great high school talents. The whole conversation they had on the first day, reminded Kageyama again, painfully that he could play professionally if it wasn’t for him caving in to the social pressure for higher education.

Kageyama made eye contact with Akashi across the court and a whole different kind of anxiety sparked once again. Tobio was already in talks about replacing the older setter as a starter. It was the same situation as with Suga three years ago, just worse because Akashi was already his friend. And he knew how much he loved to play with Bokuto. Will he ever not feel a bit guilty because of his talent?

Their coach, a scruff-looking man, a good Libero at his prime, called them to assemble, before releasing them. “Boys, I want you to know that we were approached to play in a friendly training tournament by some other Universities. It would take place next weekend. I want us to attend please inform me if you have time soon. Dismissed.”

It wasn’t until after practice in the locker room that Kageyama’s stupid plan fell apart. Because he had to change out of his now sweaty shirt.

Well, he would not win prices on his intellect any time soon.

Of course, it was Kuro who had to address it. Because of course, he had to. “I go on a limb here and say you didn’t burn yourself straightening your hair.” and then he laughed at his own joke. Tsuki rolled his eyes in the corner. “You should know.” He left to shower with a: “What is that supposed to mean?”, traveling behind him. Now Hinata and Bokuto sniggered.

“But seriously: Is that the reason you ditched us the other night?”, Kuro eyed him for a moment and Kageyama abandoned his hope to quietly sneak to the shower room and sighed. “Listen: I am really sorry. I was drunk I didn’t look at the time. I didn’t want to worry you-“

“And worry we did, Tobio! Just so you can-“

“Was he cute?”

Kuro and Bokuto were talking over each other and stopped to blink at each other just about the same time. Again Tobio couldn’t stop the blush painting his cheeks red. He really had to stop being so obviously embarrassed. The conversation was cut short by Akashi shoving both of them to shower with a bubbling Hinata in tow.

“They will stop talking eventually.”

Kageyama had almost forgotten that the sixth starting member of their team Kuse Hiro had also still been in the room. But the tall boy just shrugged sympathetically and moved on too. Tobio wanted to vanish into thin air, right here.

Later that afternoon Kageyama was on his way to his friends’ place with a little detour to the shop to get a specific snack he had promised Yachi-san. As always the group chat was blowing up on him, half of it being Hinata with excitement and Bokuto and Kuro spamming memes. (That was the reason that Kenma had left the chat and hadn’t returned yet. Even when Shoyo asked and that meant something.)

 **Catboyuwu:** Oya Oya~

 **SmollBoi:** @Blueberryboi @TallBlondSalty Where are you

 **LoudOwl:** Oya Oya Oya

 **TallBlondSalty:** For duck’s sake Hinata I told you five minutes ago I am at the station. I cant fly

 **TallBlondSalty:** *FUCK

 **Catboyuwu:** I thought you are a crow still

 **PrettyOwl:** Tetsuro pls

 **TallBlondSalty:** Fuck off

Smiling at his phone he almost ran into someone. Embarrassed he apologized to the nice girl. Hell. He needed to look where he was going. And he needed to hurry so Hinata would shut up for once.

A short while later he found himself in the chaotic flat that Bokuto and Kuro shared. Their whole group squeezed into their tiny living room with snacks watching a pro-game. Kageyama watched with both the same amazement as always and slight envy still. That could have been him, could have been Shoyo or Bokuto, easily. They could be at this court with the whole country watching them. It could be glorious.

Instead, they were watching, and that not even from the sidelines.

“Don’t look so gloomy.” Bokuto elbowed him, friendly. Yachi on Kageyama’s other side jumped a bit. She still was a bit skittish, even if she had grown confident over the years. “I would rather play than watch…”, he grumbled. And Bokuto just laughed, loud and good-natured. “Don’t we all?”

Hinata nodded solemnly as if he was completely agreeing with him, as Tsuki rolled his eyes again. “Can you guys be a bit quieter?”, Akashi sitting on Bokuto’s left was hugging a pillow and straining to understand the commentator. Bokuto winced guiltily and apologize. They all watched him mope a bit self-conscious.

Speaking of Hinata. He sat on the floor, or more half on Tsukishima then next to him. Kei allowed it without acknowledging it in the slightest. As if it wasn’t a big deal when it clearly was since the tall boy rarely showed physical affection, not even to Yamaguchi his childhood best friend. Sure, it was Shoyo who initiated the contact and he was known to be a bit clingy with his friends, always grabbing and holding on to people, but he would stop if Kei would ask him to.

Maybe he should bring that up the next time Tsuki was cornering him about his love life. If Tobio noticed those things then it had to be fucking obvious.

Kageyama was acutely aware that Kuro a) hadn’t said much yet and b) was watching him from his seat on the kitchen island, but as long as he would not say anything, Kageyama would also stay silent. He was sure this was still about the party two days ago, which haunted him more than it should anyway. Without his friend's reluctant curiosity.

Would he make a different decision if he had known how suffocatingly fidgety he would be afterward, trapped somewhere between ungodly yearning like he was a stupid teenager again and the strong urge to leave the town, the country, to never having to see him again? It was agonizing in the worst way and it didn’t seem to stop any time soon.

So, when he was starring into space not even knowing what their choice team was even doing. And that was a damned shame because Tobio rather liked this specific setter, unfortunate for his afternoon plans he wasn’t Oikawa Toru.

When the game was over and the tv was playing some kitsch soap opera in the background while his friends were happily chatting about their weekend so far and the classes they had tomorrow. Kageyama was fidgeting with his phone. Opening and closing both the chat he had with Sugawara-senpai and Tanaka. In the end, he texted neither.

What was he to do? Tell them that he had sex with Oikawa out of all people and now he was miserable without knowing why? He could not even bring himself to tell Hinata, who for all intents and purposes had been courtly quiet since Saturday morning.

Isn’t it funny that Shoyo knew him so well? Even when he didn’t really _know_ what was going on?

It was when he helped cleaning up their waste when Kuro approached him and Kageyama sighed eternally and maybe a bit externally. “Please. No.” The tall middle blocker cooked his head to the side. “Tobio. I would say I know you a bit by now.” Kageyama still didn’t really make eye contact. “And I can see that something is going on. If it is just you being embarrassed about having a one-night-stand or if it is more does not really matter. You can talk to me. Yachi. Bokuto. Shoyo or Akashi even Tsuki.” The last part was said with a slight smile. Because Tsukishima hated it when he had to acknowledge that he cared.

“My point is: Please stop to go thru things alone because you tend to do that. We are good for more than just volleyball. Y’know?”, a wink and a friendly clap on his shoulder. “Think about it, okay?”

Kageyama sighed again. The breath leaving his body with his resolve. As he pressed the heel of his palm into his eyes, groaning. It was never easy, was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Visit me on tumblr @hawkeyescoffewrites  
> I do mostly asoiaf stuff rn but i'd love to do more anime prompts <3

**Author's Note:**

> I actually want to write some more chapters but that has to wait until I finish some other projects. What do you think? Should I continue?


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